You know the story – you walk into the bank and, while you are waiting in the long line, you are drawn to the massive screen above the teller’s head.

And there they are – the dazzling, good-looking ones. She’s got thick, long hair, artistically draped around her neck, and a shapely body that looks as though it’s just come from a workout with weights at the fitness center. Her arms are draped around an equally beautiful guy, of course not a fraction over twenty-five years old. He’s muscular and bronzed, and his face takes you back to those old days, with men like Paul Newman or even Clark Gable.

Everywhere you see them. But when you get home and look in the mirror, you bemoan the fact that you’re not one of them. Your hair is thinning on top, despite the sixty dollars you spent to have it renewed with Magic Hair Rescue. And your face! Take a look at those wrinkles and sagging chin! You check out a photo of yourself from twenty years ago, and wish upon a star that you still looked like that.

It’s just not fair, is it? All the attention paid to those people just out of the cradle!

And why? Because the commercially successful strategy is to feature youth. That’s what drives consumerism and pressures people to conform to that unrealistic ideal. The threat posed by this affects the health of those of us who don’t fit that picture.

Those alluring faces and bodies make people think of vitality and health, and that’s what is newsworthy. It’s the standard for wellness, fitness, and success. Portrayed as working out, walking hand in hand on a beach at sunset, or engaged in intricate yoga poses, these improbable models convey strength, happiness, and the good life. The rest of us are demoted and outcast. We are constantly reminded of this by TV screens, web pages, magazines, billboards, and movies.

The irony is that America’s senior population is larger than ever. About one in every six Americans is a senior. As the Baby Boom generation ages, our numbers increase faster than those of the non-senior folk who are not so keen on propagating themselves.

And we are living longer!

But since our culture glorifies youth, older adults are the targets of age-based discrimination and negativity. Ageism is as much of a discriminatory problem as racism or homophobia.

Ageism shows up in all kinds of ways – from small moments of disrespect to bigger issues in our culture. People assume aging is a downward slide when in reality, abilities vary widely, and many elders remain active, creative, and engaged.

One common form is interpersonal ageism, which happens between people. Think about a family member who jokes, “It looks like you can’t keep up with us,” as if that’s just a proven fact.

If you’re an older adult, comments like these are hurtful and dismissive. Over time, they can even lead you to doubt yourself or internalize those negative beliefs. More women than men feel bad about themselves and their appearance as they grow older. We drown beneath the messages we see everywhere, and believe we lose value as we age. We take those false and destructive messages into ourselves, and they influence everything, from our self-esteem to our purchasing of needless beauty products.

Here’s a list of common myths about older people for you to refute:

• “Aging automatically means decline, and older adults can’t learn new things.”

Research consistently shows that the aging brain can learn, adapt, and form new habits throughout life.

• “Older people are lonely or depressed.”

Emotional well‑being often improves with age; loneliness is not universal and is more influenced by social context than by age.

• “Elders are fragile and need constant help.”

Many older adults live independently, manage complex lives, and make significant contributions to their families and communities.

• “Memory loss is inevitable.”

Some changes in recall are normal, but significant memory loss is not a standard part of aging.

• “Older adults aren’t interested in intimacy or relationships.”

Elders continue to seek connection, affection, intimacy, and companionship in meaningful ways.

• “Technology is too difficult for older people.”

Older adults learn and use technology every day.

• “Creativity fades with age.”

Many people experience a surge in creativity, insight, and self-expression later in life.

• “Elders are set in their ways.”

Older adults often show remarkable adaptability, especially when changes align with their values and well-being.

• “Aging is something to hide.”

These myths fuel stigma; many elders embrace aging as a stage of depth, wisdom, and renewed purpose.

There are steps you can take to challenge ageism. These will improve your well-being and foster a more open-minded culture in which discrimination is less prevalent. Here’s an empowering list of ways for you to deal with ageism:

• Confront ageist comments gently but directly.

“I don’t think that’s true about elder people.”

• Use accurate, respectful language about aging.

Swap phrases like “senior moment” for positive language.

• Challenge assumptions – both your own and others’.

Notice when you assume someone’s abilities based on age, and pause to reconsider.

• Share stories of thriving older adults.

Examples break stereotypes faster than statistics.

• Keep visible and engaged in ways that feel good to you.

Whether it’s learning something new, volunteering, or pursuing a hobby, being visible disrupts stereotypes.

• Support age-inclusive policies and practices.

Advocate for fair hiring and equal opportunities.

• Build intergenerational connections.

Conversations across ages help everyone see each other as individuals, not stereotypes.

• Set boundaries with people who speak to you disrespectfully.

A calm “Please don’t talk to me that way” can be powerful.

• Avoid internalizing ageist messages.

Consider your strengths, wisdom, and experience for a positive view of later life.

It’s high time that we elders, especially women, take pride in our age and our wrinkles. Our wisdom has been hard-earned by the knocks, blows, victories and triumphs of a long life. We have contributed to the world and are doing much to improve it.

Defeating ageism starts with self-care and honoring your wisdom, courage, resilience, and worth.

If you’d like support in navigating concerns, such as pain, insomnia, stress, dark moods, or memory and mobility challenges, I’m here to help. I offer sessions designed for women sixty‑five plus to improve their physical, emotional, and mental well‑being. To learn more or to schedule a free, bite-sized taste of FineArt Wellness Coaching and Reiki, contact me at shoshanakobrin@gmail.com